What took you so long?

At some point in my life, writing was a serious profession I considered in my day dreams. The inspirations were myriad, as with most young adults, ranging from JK Rowling to Tolkien to Asimov and beyond. My mom instilled an unending fascination for English crime novels in me, so I was able to add Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie to the list as well (yes, Poirot was Belgian, I know). I wrote long and arduous essays on word files that I’d been inspired with in the bathroom that morning. I created a blog to express those incredibly malnourished skills to the world and receive some criticism. But, as they say, nothing lasts long. Life took over and I abandoned all attempts at keeping a well stocked website to track my writing prowess (or lack of it). It was rekindled a little in college when I resorted to typing out my incredible frustration at the Indian education system, but in retrospect, it was a massive spurt of my own untamed sarcasm splashing the pages and being edited into some semblance of the written word.

WordPress tells me it has been 4+ years since the last time my thoughts were put on paper on a public website. That is not to say that I don’t write long, convoluted monographs to satisfy my towering hubris in private, but what little I’ve put up online since then has been in small blurbs on Twitter or completely anonymous comments/posts on reddit. So when the shadow of a muse suddenly found its way into my head the other day, I took some notice unlike the previous instances when I dismissed it to concentrate on more character building projects such as binge watching shows on Netflix or attempting for the umpteenth time to set up Arch Linux on a VM after forgetting all the pitfalls I cleared the previous million times I applied myself to the task.

It isn’t easy to pick up the (proverbial) pen after so long and try to write something whimsical that I’d be happy with. It is similarly difficult to actually select a topic and hope to write something palatable to even myself at a future date. The random 2-3 people who have actually read this blog in the past have lauded my attempts at ranting and raving about life in general, but I believe I’ve grown out of the phase. In conclusion, after 3 paragraphs of meandering, I have to conclude that writing sarcastic posts is not my thing any more. I would rather attempt to channel my inner philosopher and observer and try to write about the little vagaries of life than continue to put down my cynical thoughts. This decision is driven by more than just my own maturity. In attempting to find the truth on my own, I realised sometime last year that I’ve gone way past what my college self would’ve defined as “loony” and landed firmly into the crazy camp of ideas.

But enough of the drivel of growing up. Suffice it to say I am not the same person I was when I wrote some of my previous blog posts that I spent some (very cringey) time reading today. To inaugurate my brief return to the realm of virtual banalities, I must get on with getting on.


The Vagaries of Texting

To say that everyone “texts” in today’s world is akin to saying people breathe to live. It is patently impossible to avoid the written communication form, which itself is simply a shortened real time extension of the letter writing days of yore. But unlike having a pen pal, people don’t think of texting (or even email) as a character building exercise in any sense. Now, it is possible that no one has given it much thought … rather than having considered it and dismissed it with the adverse conclusion due to such patently primitive notions as “nothing replaces face to face communication”. However, let’s assume the latter is the case and allow me to write a blog post expounding on my fascination.

The millenial generation has been “texting” for the greater part of the past 20 years. We took to it faster than our parents, which some would consider natural. Let me point out an opposite situation – email. If your parents were working through the nineties and noughties, they almost definitely started emailing long before you did. So why is it that we picked up texting so quickly? After texting plans became prevalent to the extent of “100 SMS/day free” or more, we ravaged the medium like it was nobody’s business. I submit that texting has built character for our generation, just like having a pen pal relationship was a big deal until the 1980s or so.

Now I hear you asking, “how are you even comparing the two? One is a medium for writing essay length compendium of thoughts and ideas, while the other is a fast moving and incredibly ethereal medium of sharing quips”. I believe it was Shakespeare who said, “Brevity is the soul of wit”. And what greater example of it is there in the modern era than Twitter. Incidentally, Twitter started off with the ability to receive updates using text messages from the handle owners (hence the initial 140 character limit).

So what has texting achieved for us? Nothing in itself. However, it was a prelude to other more complex means of instant messaging such as Yahoo Messenger and its modern variants. The new paradigm with these extensions to texting was that there was now an anonymous way to meet people online and exchange ideas. The progress from there has been breathtaking – from Hangouts and Skype to Slack and its copies.

Still not getting to the point, am I? Very well, here it is – in all the years that I’ve progressed along with every other millenial through these technologies in turn, I have gained what can only be described as a transcendent level of communication. At an asynchronous pace, I have kept up with people, their arguments, their thought processes, the media they share and I don’t even know what else. In the middle of exchanging profanities with random strangers, I discovered people in passing whose influence on my thought process was imprinted despite their anonymity.

The written word has always been one of the most powerful of mediums. It is no wonder that Gutenberg’s printing press is considered one of the most pivotal inventions in human history. Some people argue that, similar to reading, the next skill we’ll need to get out of our ignorant adolescence as a civilisation is to learn to code. But that is a different topic for a later time.

Texting has taken the writing medium to its logical real time conclusion, and I personally think this is just the beginning i.e. this real time, possibly asynchronous, duplex communication style will flower into something we cannot even imagine at this moment. Personally, I hope there’s at least one more revolution to the medium within my lifetime, just so I can revel in the innovative new paradigm.


The Perfect Configuration – Mac on Ubuntu

Yes, long time since I posted blah blah.

This is a tech post. So no, nothing interesting for the casual reader. Move on.

The best part about Mac is the interface. There is no comparison with Windows (8, at least). Anyway, I thought I’d make a post on it – both as a manual to refer to later and as a tome to perfecting it after nearly 2 hours of tinkering.

This post will cover just the major mac interface components – the dock and the genie effect.

The Dock – Install Cairo dock from Ubuntu store.

The Genie Effect – Install compiz config editor (I don’t remember the package name etc so just Google it).

The settings:

Configure the dock to start on startup. This is per usual. Right click the dock and click configure and tinker in the settings.

Now, open the compiz editor. First enable wobbly windows (it’s a nice effect) if you want to. Read whatever dialog props and up and click the necessary button. Then, click Animations under Effects. Click the Minimise Animation tab. Click on the Zoom animation enabled by default, click Edit and change the effect to Magic Lamp (basically Genie). Tinker around a little with the timer (it’s in milliseconds) until you get the right effect you desire. Mine is set somewhere around 450 milliseconds. Now, the minimise and maximise animation is perfect. Problem is the wobbly windows interferes with both and creates some very undesirable effects (go ahead, try it). So, if you’ve enabled wobbly windows, there is one more step. Click the Wobbly Windows button (not the check box) inside compiz editor and uncheck Maximise Effect (right at the bottom).

That’s it. You’re done. Now, your Linux behaves more like a mac but is still awesome. Tinker around inside the Compiz editor if you want. There are some very interesting animations.

Personally, I enabled Wave under Focus Animations. Gives a nice sorta effect.

I’m thinking about making those mouse gestures work (apart from the double tap to right click though — I hate that) from Mac. Switching workspaces and displaying all windows and what-you-have. Should do it sometime soon.

Anyway, adios!

Shift of Blaaag!

So, yours truly got a web domain. Frankly, I got it about a year and a half ago but never did anything with it. But then, it struck me. Why bother with a blog on WordPress.com when I can have my own on my site. So I installed WordPress and set up the blog and imported all my posts from here.

Also, I put some changes into the new blog like some really cool widgets and all that. But anyway, the new blog is set up here and you can go check it out.

Both weblogs will remain. But I’ll only update the new one from now on. This will be the last post here. Adios amigos! Meet you on the other side 🙂

PS: I’m playing around with the server files. So in case accessing said link doesn’t work after some point, please check back here. I’d have updated the hyperlink.

The Great Knowledge Divide

Yes, my posts look like editorial columns in a newspaper. That is because unlike most people, my life is pretty boring. But the inside of my head is always a lot more interesting. So, here goes another tl;dr article.

A normal day in anyone’s life would start like this:

Wake up, check phone for messages, mails, IMs etc. Brush teeth. Finish bathing. Sit on laptop for sometime. Go to work. Sit again in front of a computer for sometime. Come back. Loaf around. Connect and update your social networks all day with photos and status updates. Check other people’s posts. Watch some movies from your laptop or external HD. Sleep.

Sounds pretty normal. Obviously, you know where I’m going with this. That’s right .. It ain’t all that normal. When you are an Engineer (yes, I’m actually one of the few guys who’s proud to be one), you realise the absolute enormity of computing that goes on around you.

For instance, I will take the phone part of my previous example.

I am taking a smartphone for added emphasis. Your phone consists of a processor that would put something that sat on a big cabinet on your desktop around a decade ago to shame. The antenna it uses to receive messages and calls is a tribute to the finesse with which human machines manufacture electronic products. Let’s say you get a message from Person A.

1) Person A picks up his smartphone and clicks a button. The button closes an electrical connection which is connected either directly or indirectly to your processor which tells your screen to switch on the backlight and start displaying the information it sends to it (or the GPU sends to it depending on how advanced the phone is).

2) A goes into the messaging app and stars typing a message. All the while, his processor is screaming along at 600 MHz (nominal for today’s smartphones) to display images, interfaces, power the touchscreen etc. Then, A types on his touchscreen which sends appropriate coordinates of point of touch to the processor which again sends it to the application which in turn decides what key you pressed.

3) A finishes typing the message and hits send. His DMA controller (or its more advanced version) sends it to the antenna which then transmits it after applying a few mind boggling signal processing algorithms to account for errors on the receiver side.

4) The tower receives the data, contacts the central server and sees which area your phone has logged itself into. Then, it redirects the message to the tower in your area.

5) The tower sends it to all devices in the area as part of the link transmission. Your SIM card recognises the message as being meant for you and tells your processor that you have received a message.

6) The processor in turn directs the message to your SMS application which asks the processor to turn on the screen and let it display the message to you.

7) You read the message.

I have actually skipped a few steps here but you get the picture. Also, don’t even get me started on the laptop.

What am I getting at? I believe the amount of collective human knowledge on this planet far exceeds comprehension of any single individual.

For instance, mathematics has steadily progressed since the 15th century or so. Today, the level of mathematics is so advanced, people devote their whole lives to studying just one specialised field.

Communications and electronics (which are intricately linked these days) have progressed so much in the last 50 years or so, specialisations started almost a decade ago. The microprocessor industry is also in a similar state.

Physics has branched out with the astronomy fellows studying stunning phenomena in deep space while quantum buggers dig deeper and deeper to somehow find the very secrets of the fabric of time, space, reality and human perception in general.

There is no way that one human can comprehend, study and assimilate all this knowledge in one lifetime. Is that a problem? I believe so. Why? I shall presently explain.

I believe all human knowledge is linked. One fine example would be how people are trying to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis using energy levels of subatomic particles in quantum physics. How did this clash happen between pure mathematics and quantum physics? Apparently, a mathematician and a physicist were discussing the problem when it struck the physicist that this was possible. Nope, I’m not kidding.

But this is just a stroke of luck. What if there are several branches of knowledge which are intricately connected but would need an individual well versed in both to figure it out? It is a dilemma, is it not?

Arthur Clarke (or Isaac Asimov, I really don’t remember which of these 2 sci-fi greats) wrote a story in which a professor seeks to look back in time by exploiting some property of a neutrino (stupid, yes, but it was written in the era when neutrinos had just been discovered and no one knew its potential). It takes a student with knowledge in 2 very specialised fields to realise that it was easy to build the machine which until then could only be used in some top secret facility controlled by the government. Of course, the moral dilemma of looking back in time settles in and the professors wife gets addicted to watching their long lost son/daughter (don’t remember which) through time. A government agent finally comes into the picture and salutes the 2 men congratulating them for finally sinking all progress of humanity since cases like the professors wife would become more prevalent when the machine became public knowledge as the story was released to the press.

Yes, the last part of that anecdote was pointless but what I meant to say was that it required a student highly specialised in 2 fields to construct a machine. With the diversification that is presently happening, will not all human knowledge one day go completely out of reach?

In that sense, if there were 2 broad yet diverse fields which could solve some major problem and these 2 broad fields became more and more specialised, there would be no way of attacking that problem since no one would see the connection.

I’m guessing you got my point now. If not, read “The Last Question” by Isaac Asimov. Arguably, the best short story in sci-fi. It deals with a computer which is sentient and expands without human help at such a pace that at some point, no single individual knows how it works. That isn’t the main plot of the story but it reiterates my point anyway.

I believe we have to solve this dilemma if the human race has to progress enough to become a type 3 civilisation one day (you know, master of all resources in our galaxy and all that).

I have come up with 2 solutions.

1) Let humans choose to specialise in any 2 diverse or even similar fields. Assuming free will is somewhat close to a gaussian random variable, we will be able to see every combination there is and most or all of them will yield results.

2) Force humans from birth into some combination of specialised fields. I believe all talks to aptitude are just hogwash. You have an aptitude for what you chose to like. I have an aptitude for math because that’s what I’ve been learning since childhood and my parents encouraged me into it. I quickly learned that specialising in it is not my cup of tea. I find communications mildly interesting and believe I can specialise in the cellular communication techniques since I find it very interesting. This suggestion may seem a little too 1984-ish but really, free will is how you make it out to be. Yes, I know, I’m a despot, tyrant and an otherwise very disturbed individual. Or I could really be the guy with the most sound logic.

Streamlining the knowledge and the way humans learn it may increase our progress exponentially. Only time can tell. Or it cannot. Who is gonna read an obscure blog written by a jobless intellectual and even consider the options listed here?

You? I don’t think so 😛

What is Twitter?

No, the answer is not 42. Though if it was as simple as that, life would be much better.

Anyway, this post is for all those of my contemporaries out there who don’t know what Twitter is / don’t know how to use Twitter / can’t understand what the hell they’re doing on Twitter / cannot appreciate Twitter.

I thought I’d do all of you / us a favour and make this a Q/A post. I will be as denigrating as I want to because people do not understand what kind of a phenomenon Twitter really is.


Q: What is Twitter?

A: Twitter is defined as a microblogging service. A blog is where you post something (like this). A microblog is for status updates. The reason you use Twitter are three-fold:

1) You update your status so that people who follow you can know what’s going on with you.

2) You follow your friends and see their status updates to see what’s up with them.

3) You follow news websites, celebrities and the like to keep up with their news.


Q: So, what’s the big deal? I can do all that in Facebook as well.

A: Twitter is a revolution. It is utterly different from Facebook. While Facebook is filled with spammers and trolls, Twitter is filled either with intellectuals (like myself 😛 ) or with spam bots who can be blocked with one click.

Also, Twitter noticeably lacks “apps” which make enough spam content on Facebook to irritate some 700 million users. Twitter is pitched as a simple microblogging platform and that is all it ever is / ever should be.

Besides, following news on Twitter and Facebook are 2 different things. There are 2 reasons for this:

1) Companies and organisations that give news content online do it mostly on Twitter. Facebook is just their auxiliary option. The fact that they can post on Twitter in small 140 character updates, have their own timeline where they can look back on the updates without the hindrances of such nuances as “comments” or “likes” appeals to them.

2) Twitter has the cleanest interface that you can think of. Now, there are 2 ways to follow news .. either you add everyone who is tweeting news about something to your timeline, or all the users create a hashtag and you search for that hashtag and follow all the tweets there.

Example: Say an earthquake occurs in Atlantis, one user will create a hastag like #atlantisquake .. The power of social media will propagate this hashtag in such a way that within 5 minutes, well over a thousand users will be using that hashtag. Now, lets say there are people on site in Atlantis tweeting about it, people offsite who have relatives stuck there asking for help, people on site asking for help etc – you can see ALL of these things if you are searching for that hashtag. Yes, its that simple.


Q: Ok, that’s too advanced for me to comprehend. Why would these things help me? I just want to keep up with my friends and check what photos they upload.

A: Oh ok fine. Then, please go back to Facebook. Twitter is not for you.


Q: Fine. Let’s say I’m interested. What else can Twitter do?

A: Not much else. This is what people love Twitter for. The people working on it are wise enough to know what the users like and they don’t want to do mundane optimisations which will spoil the user experience.


Q: Hmm .. What about media content? Like photos and videos and all that?

A: This is the most opportune moment I can answer this. Twitter recently released a photo uploading service. Its is the most complete image search engine anyone can hope for assuming people tag the pictures they upload with the proper tags.


Q: Wtf? Didn’t Twitter have any way of viewing photos before this?

A: They did. You uploaded photos in another service like Twitpic, yfrog etc. and posted a link along with a small one liner on Twitter. Using hashtags helped in searches.


Q: Ok fine. Any down sides?

A: Oh yes. As with all “social” media, this is powered by the people. You have to be responsible about what you post, what you share etc.

For example, some fool made a mistake and posted that Abdul Kalam died even though it was just his friend who’d died. It spread like wildfire (as is its wont) and finally, at the stage where even news websites started believing it, it died down. So, it’s on your part to be a responsible netizen and do what’s right.


Q: How do I join Twitter?

A: Head over here and create an account. That’s it. You’re done. You can start using Twitter right away.


Please spread the joy and make people aware. Also, in case any of your friends pesters you as to what Twitter is, direct them here 🙂

PS: Any questions? I’m sorry .. You gotta go Google. There is only so much time I’m willing to spare in making people Internet-aware. Comments? Post below.

I know What I did This Summer

So, nothing great here. Another summer has come. Another of my birthdays has come and gone. Oh, I’m 20 btw. Yes, I still don’t give a damn.

What did I do this summer? (The title of the post is a play on a famous horror movie title)

All the people I know have been working their ass off trying to get internships. I will not scorn at them (well, not at first anyway 😀 ) because I tried. In the course of trying, I realised 2 things – 1) You really need to have contacts to get into these internships. I have none. 2) They definitely aren’t worth it. I mean, yeah you get stipend and work experience (neither of which I care about). I care about getting to know things. I’ve heard they teach you about the work in the company. But I dunno .. starting to go to work daily .. I’d feel too grown up to believe it 😛

I now believe in keeping my summer free. I have only one more summer to go but I don’t care if I keep saying that 😀 .. So this summer, I kept it as free as possible, apart from CAT preparation, a hellish project and some other small stuff, I have nothing to do.

So I started the summer with some coding. There was this Huffman code I wanted to do badly. I finished it on my birthday (June 2nd) after some 4 hours of coding (spread over 20 days or so). I still have the decompression program to look forward to though.

The project is probably the best thing that happened last semester. Our project guide hardly remembers our faces. Each time we walk into his cabin to talk about the project, he gives a look of incredulity (wouldn’t you, if 6 full grown college students made their way into your private 9’ x 12’ space without no explanation whatever? 😀 ). Anyway, we remind him we are his project team for the year. Then, he talks with his “trademark” style. If you plot his volume to the time of his monologue, it’d look something like this.

All units in SI (except dB for volume), graph not to scale

Its funny how all of us lean in to listen to him as he goes on and his volume keeps going down 😀 .. Anyway, his idea of a “starting” exercise was something too tough for us to dream of finishing. We accepted anyway. I mean .. What else could we do? 😐

Then, there is the facebook-ing which has become excessive thanks to utter boredom. I would like to clarify my stance on why I use facebook. It’s not to keep up with people. I couldn’t care less about who potty trained their dog or who got the Nobel recently. I’m more interested in seeing how society as such uses it. Its just a visual thing. I’m not plotting graphs or rolling around in statistical data. I just keep track of stuff that stands out in my memory.

Twitter .. Now THAT is something I cannot stay without. I’m basically an information junkie – as are most avid twitter users. I’d rather have a twitter account than subscribe to a newspaper or watch news channels on TV. My repeated appeals to everyone I know (through facebook statuses – shouldn’t it be statii btw? – class speeches, casual talk and what not) to join Twitter seems to be paying off. More and more people from my college are joining the site whereas my school people remain as ignorant as ever.

I love patterns though. And I saw some distinct patterns here:

1) People from ECE in my college have maximum presence on twitter (now, I was the first one there so I may be the starting point but we can never be sure)

2) People from my school have many different patterns depending on which college they joined:

2.1) People in Sastra hardly have a twitter presence. They’re more prominent on Facebook.

2.2) People from BITS, Goa have more of a presence than people from BITS, Pilani (well, from amongst my school friends, at least) .. BITS, Pilani people have limited presence on either site.

2.3) People from NITT have a strong presence on Twitter but they’re mostly unused accounts. From the Twitter stalking (yes, I’ve learned to stalk people on twitter as well) I have done, there are further 3 categories of people here:

2.3.1) People who join Twitter and use it avidly like @anirudh24seven

2.3.2) People who join Twitter and then never come back to the site again

2.3.3) People who join Twitter and never really post anything but follow news. This set can be identified by their limited number of tweets but very large number of “following”.

2.4) Random people have a mixed presence on Twitter which I can’t really split into patterns since i don’t know how the rest of their college is on these sites.

3) People from my old school have a very weak Twitter presence (almost negligible except for @anirudhpullela ) But that is understandable considering they never were nerd in the first place.

4) People I know from elsewhere (IIT Tuitions, Tennis Classes and the rest) have no twitter presence at all or I haven’t found them yet (an exception here is @shreeranjani who has a greater twitter presence than I do)

Now that my pattern appetite is sated, let’s move on.

I finally jailbroke the iPod Touch. Brilliant shit after jailbreaking. I installed some repositories like Hackulo.us and Crackulo.us .. Got some really cool cracked apps from those. The best though is VLC media player. It does not require us to do ANY conversion of the video file. Simply load them on the pod, click play and it’ll resize the file to your screen size. Epic, right?

Mom bought a cheap Nokia phone which looks surprisingly awesome. Uncluttered Symbian OS .. a refreshing change from Symbian^3 and the later versions. Problem is it requires a micro USB cable and I don’t have one. Have to load all the songs through bluetooth :/

Birthday was a quiet affair – just as I like it. Dinner with family. Small cake. Refused to meet friends citing dinner. Meh. They more or less knew I wouldn’t come. I’m 20. I don’t have an internship. I don’t know much about Communications even though I’m due to major in it in a years time. I practically hate talking to people and don’t pick up people’s calls because I don’t feel like talking to them. Yep, I still don’t give a damn 😀

CAT mock test came up. Scored somewhere near the 50s. Should be enough considering I haven’t studied a word for CAT till now.

I’m hoping to get a hard disk. I badly need one. I have too many pictures, videos and music on my laptop. That apart from all the game installations. I need to free up space and install linux both as a backup and to aid me in programming pursuits. I have some cracking packages I can’t wait to try out.

I’m reading Nine Lives by William Dalrymple for want of anything better to do. The computer has become boring. The PS3 is boring. The Android is boring. The iPod is boring. It is hot. I don’t feel like going out. Sometimes, I hate holidays. But then, since these are probably the last I’ll ever have, I might as well enjoy them.


So, I finally convinced my dad to buy me an iPod on his latest trip to the US. I’m not a big show off when it comes to technology. I buy everything to sate my own appetite rather than flaunt it to all my acquaintances (but it is a side effect, I concede).

So, even though I have around 40 GB of music, I thought I might as well go with the 32 GB model since my music collection will anyway exceed any storage device I obtain eventually. I was in a dilemma between buying a 120GB classic model or a 32GB iPod Touch 4G. I went with the latter since apps, rather than storage, are my bigger priority.

I still haven’t completely used it to my satisfaction. Right now, its mostly for listening to music and checking out the iOS world before a jailbreak. Yes, I’m now a person of experience in both Android and iOS.

I’m more definitive than most people in the case of these comparisons between Android and iOS. I have always believed in an open environment and since Android is open from the get-go (I don’t like the use of the word conception since it means something entirely different in slang), I vehemently supported it.

Fact is, I’ve never lived with an iOS device in my household before. Now, considering my newer experience, and the fact that jailbreaks will give the iOS the “open” definition in some senses, I’m willing to change opinions.

I’m waiting for my 4mbps connection to jailbreak (I dunno why, I guess I just want it done faster), to download those free PS3 games Sony is offering (Nope, I’m not kidding you 😀 ) and usual browsing.

I’m leaving for Delhi the day after tomorrow. Hopefully, the internet connection has been set up there. I need to go get my dad’s civic (YEP! 😀 ) and ride it around. I’m taking my laptop so productivity would still be pretty low. Meh. I’ve stopped giving a damn.

PS: Listen to ‘3 different pigs’ by Pink Floyd. I can’t get that song off my head for some reason. Epic.

<insert title here>

So, my last few days of this semester are upon me. A year from now, I will be a graduate who will be thrust into the cruel backstabbing cutthroat world out there. I shall be helplessly overcome by the sheer multitudes that mass around me and feel like I’m just one among the throng of humanity.

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else”

– Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Meh. I couldn’t care less. People keep saying these things so often, I wonder if it’s actually true. If everyone was going to be faced with such odds in the “outside world”, I think the asylums would be a lot more full with voluntary admissions.

I think I should have become more mature by now. Shifted my areas of interest to working, reading serious books, following the stock market (?) etc. But me? I can’t WAIT to go home and get my hands on my PS3 😀

This summer is going to be fun. Movie sequels to some of my favourite movies are releasing (Kung Fu Panda 2 babyyyyyy 🙂 ) and some new awesome movies coming up (Thor) along with the leftover games that I can play at home (Portal 2, here I come). Not to forget all those books I still haven’t read (I shall honour Salman Rushdie by a reading :D) and the new iPod Touch which I can’t wait to jailbreak and start modding *rubs hands in glee*

Of course, there is the project work which needs to be done over the holidays. But then, when you have all the time in the world, hardly go out of your house and love to sit on your computer, you have a tendency to finish what work you have.

4 more days and I shall be back where I belong (?) and living the life. Good food, AC, laptop + PS3 + faster internet connection + home theatre system. I think I will interface everything 😀

Till then, 2 more exams + 1 awesome night + train journey back home 🙂

Morning Blues?

This is gonna be a long post. There is nothing interesting here. It’s just an outlet to my sudden urge to write.

There are times in everyone’s life when you get a feeling that too much is going on. Your work never seems to end. You long for those days of lazing in the afternoon sun and watching tv in an AC room while having something cold like rooh-afza simultaneously. Somehow, most of my friends seem to have forgotten that there was a time in their lives when they actually had no worries and could peacefully sleep at night without caring about homework tomorrow. I guess that is good in a way. You can’t miss what you can’t remember you ever had.

I, on the other hand, can remember all of it. When we used to start playing hide and seek early in the morning, get called back in the afternoon, have lunch, come back and simply talk while sitting on stairs. It was fun. I miss those days with Akshata, Venkatesh and all the others who came and went in the flat. I guess, for a long time, akshata was the only constant friend in my life.

Do not take me to be a sucker for the past. I hate reliving old memories. Why? Because they’re the best I have and remind me how much simpler life could’ve been had I not grown up and conquered the aging mechanism.

We just confirmed a project guide for ourselves in college. It made me realise I’m an adult now. I can no longer attribute my mistakes to immaturity because according to the likes of Dr phil, I shouldn’t have any. I can no longer relax and let my parents take care of stuff. And there is no way on earth I can dream about “when I grow up”. The ads on tv which I thought were meant for me when I was a child mean nothing any more. They look senseless and feel senseless. I see school vans going about when I go out in the evening at home and I search if my old vans is one of them. Then I realise I don’t go to school anymore. The vans don’t mean anything to me. What little sense of belonging I had to that mode of transport has been lost on me and probably transferred to another child who will get just as disillusioned as I was. One day, he too will grow up and discard this delusion. All signs of my childhood ever having existed are getting erased. Amar Chitra Katha may continue but uncle pai will no longer be behind it. Children no longer run about in my old flat. Akshata tells me the same people have lived there and grown older. No longer is there the shouting of children which used to be delightful to my senses a long time ago since it meant I had company. A few days ago, when I came back home, there were a bunch of kids playing around and I found the noise intolerable. I told this to my mom and she started laughing telling me, “you do remember that, not more than 5 years ago, that was you down there?” .. I brushed it off but then I realise, she was right.

Somehow the bright sunny days when we used to have fun and frolic without a care in the world have turned into days of constant worry day and night about what the Next day would bring. The realization that you can no longer rely on your parents to make plans for you tomorrow. They aren’t there to do your laundry, cook your food, feed you at regular intervals and Call you back if you stay in the sun for too long. I get a strange feeling when I go home these days. I feel like I’m intruding in the life of my parents. My hostel, which until two years ago, I would have misspelt as hostile and not given it a second thought, seems safe. It feels like home or as close as it gets to home.

I dunno if I’m as emo as this post will make me sound but I can tell you this – if something could make me a child again and let me live the absolutely contented life I led before all world around me tore apart, I would kill for it. Yes, I think I really would.

And then there were none!

Boredom has hit me in varied levels. I’m not gonna lie and pretend this is the worst it’s come to. But it’s close.

I’m alone in my room in the hostel. My wing has a max of 5 people as compared to it’s usual 35. There is no food in the hostel. I don’t have anything to study. I don’t feel like gamin. I’ve turned in for the night at 3 itself. Also, I’m feeling the need to talk to someone so I’m posting on my blog from my bed (android phone and all that, y’know).

Why am I telling the internet all this when maximum views will come from random statistics websites? Because I dunno what else to do. The very painstaking effort of typing this truck load of lard is welcome to my numbed out brain.

The only thing to look forward to in the days ahead is the project mentor decisions. It’s gonna be a metaphorical bloodbath for nerds. Me? I’ve stopped caring.

Ah well … To boredom *raises glass* .. may you return to haunt me again and again to remind me about the uselessness of the life I’m leading.

Adios world .. I’m off to sleep. Hopefully at least my dreams will be better ..