So, I thought I’d officially start the year with a bang and went for a trip to Ooty with friends from college. There were 16 of us and to keep it short – it was fun. But this isn’t about the trip as a whole.
This is about one particular aspect of the trip – trekking up a hill in almost completely uncharted territory. To be more precise, this is about how to go unprepared for said trip.
How to go unprepared for a Trekking trip
Aim: To make an itinerary of all the items that would be detrimental to a trekking trip and procedures to follow that would effectively endanger your life and those of others with you.
1) Sandals with no traction – 1
2) Sprain in leg – 1 (Maximum of 2)
3) Cotton clothing for effectively letting the chill get to you
4) Foolhardiness – As much as possible
1) Start with letting your friends plan a trip. Initially, refuse to go along so that you’re absent from the planning sessions. When you agree to go along, make sure you forget the fact that a trekking trip has been planned.
2) Do not forget to act tough and not take any type of protective clothing even though you are going to a hill station and you know about it.
3) Make sure you don’t have enough sleep because you know sleeping on a bus with 15 friends (who talk themselves to high glory) is quite easy.
4) Start the trekking trip with minimal energy. This is essential to gathering the grit to go till the very top.
5) Remember to sprain your ankle a little on each leg so that it gets worse by the time you’re done.
6) Start the trek
7) Remember to keep your foolhardiness at max throttle and agree to move forward on unused slippery muddy pathways.
8) Take support from people on both sides of you. This way, you’ll feel safe that when you fall, you won’t be the only one going down.
9) Do not think about the way back and how much more difficult it is to stop yourself while slipping down the muddy pathways.
10) Reach the top. Stop for photos on the way when there is enough foliage to literally hide an elephant.
11) Start the trek downhill. This is the part where the fun starts.
12) Hold on to maximum number of people so that you can take everyone down when you go. For best effects, make sure the people on both your sides are light ones. This will help in bringing down the whole group a lot faster (Satti’s Weight Disproportionality Theorem).
13) Break a few toe nails so that you can feel the pain when you are trying not to slip.
14) A few thorns all over your body will also help. For good measure, make sure they’re poisonous.
15) Hope that the sprain in your ankle acts up to make your job all the tougher.
16) Get down and look at your feet. Mud should have crusted all over your nails (the ones that aren’t missing), mud over your pants and T Shirt(which should have been black for maximum effect).
17) Make sure you come back into your room with said filthy sandals and then realise the fact. Reminisce about the trip and write a blog post on the one part you think would not be all that boring to read.
Conclusion: To decrease your chances of coming back alive, do not go for a trekking trip with your head in the right place or traction in your footwear.
Of course, the trip on the whole was awesome. My sarcasm is directed wholly on myself and my stupidity for not being prepared for a trekking trip.