Vaazhkai Oru Vattam!

The title is actually a very famous saying in Tamil which means ‘Life is a circle’.

I’ve never tried to learn the true meaning of that statement basically because I have no inclination to delve ln issues of philosophy. But I’ve also felt that the examples people quote to support this proverb are usually not very correct in their description.

For example, meeting someone after a long time doesn’t exactly imply that the “vaazhkai oru vattam” proverb holds true.

But when life hits you on the face with tragedies one after another, you’re forced to admit that sometimes, a higher force does not really like you. I’m usually cynical of philosophy and all other superstitious practices like horoscopes, palm reading etc. Hell, I’m a proud atheist as well. I’m always proud of being a rebel to the orthodox ways of my family and caste.

When things happen like it happened to me today, though, you have a feeling you’re just another of the billion life forms on the planet and that life itself, far as you can see into the near future, has no ultimate purpose. You live, eat, breathe and die. Why act as though a higher calling must be fulfilled? Why have the feeling that everything will become all right when there is nothing to really get back to? What difference does food make as long as its hygienic and edible? Spending money on stupid stuff like pizzas and other vices just becomes hilariously moronic in your eyes. Finding what all romantic as well as intellectual poets and writers refer to as ‘true love’ becomes a chore that holds no meaning when you’re born alone and will die alone .. taking none of your achievements or failures into what is romantically referred to as the netherworld.

At times like these, I relate to my favourite video game character – Agent 47 from the Hitman franchise – who has no morals to speak of, does not care about women and kills without conscience. He has no concept of revenge or killing when it does not serve his purpose of getting money and leading a luxurious and out of limelight life.

Being inconspicuous is in anyone’s genes. Calling attention to yourself would only alert the predators as they look for things to satisfy their hunger. I guess going along with those genes will help me from now.

Sixth sense, in my opinion, was a bane as well as a gift to mankind … something God gave along with death.